What does it mean to be a good wife?
From childhood I have been taught that a good wife wakes up at 3:00am to make breakfast and lunch for her husband before he leaves for work. To work a full day and take care of the children. To keep the house clean. Do the grocery shopping. To know how to cook. To make sure there is a hot meal ready for dinner and a cold drink in his hand. To not spend too much money. To make sure intimate needs are met. Rinse, lather and repeat. When I get home from work usually I just want to relax for a couple hours. Honestly, I don’t know how my grandmother did it. She would come home from a full day at work and stay on her feet till we were all sitting down at the dinner table. No wonder she wanted help peeling potatoes. My life doesn’t exactly fit in a nice puzzle like that but we have our own routine.
On the weekends I like making him breakfast. We often resort to coffee for breakfast during the week but surely if he asked during the week I would do it. When he isn’t traveling or busy we have lunch together. If I fail to plan our meals and grocery shop we eat out. I try to make it to the store once a week. I try to clean up during the week but I leave the hard core cleaning for the weekend. We don’t have any children yet. Surely my antics will have to change one day. I am great at making sure our bills are paid on time and saving money. That’s something I picked up from my grandfather. I am also excellent at communication and loyalty. I don’t expect a gold star for that one but it’s more than some can give. Here are a few of my values that I believe help me become a better wife.
Step One: Be Realistic.
It could be from, “Can I afford this?” to “Is he the right guy for me?” Sometimes it’s good to just evaluate something in black and white with honest answers. The key to this is never to rush into anything too soon without stopping and asking yourself if what you are doing is going to lead in a good direction. I know we love to follow our hearts but hey, we have brains for a reason!
Am I rushing into a relationship? Am I changing my moral values for this person? Does he accept me for me? Do I want to change him to be what I want? If you can answer questions like these in a realistic way then good for you! It’s about picking the right partner and not just being with them because it’s easy. Or for the strong sexual attraction. You are looking at the big picture and not just what’s right in front of you and convenient.
Step Two: Be Honest.
Silence isn’t always golden. No matter the situation. The truth is always the side that I want to be on. Even if that puts me in the ‘cat house.’ I would rather keep my conscience clear than to let anything eat at me. Whether it be about money, something I don’t approve of, or having made a misguided decision. What is a relationship without honesty and trust? Not much of a relationship at all.
Step Three: No Negative-Nagcy.
See what I did there? I know being negative and nagging will not get me anywhere. This is one thing I think we are all guilty of. When things are not going our way it’s really hard not to. I would love to nag him about taking out the trash but heck! I have to arms and I can do it to! Nagging never makes him do what I want any faster. Most of the time when he see’s me going for the trash he will hop up and help me. I chose my nag battles wisely and for the rest I just let drop. No need to rock the boat over the small stuff. If there is something I feel is a big deal, I try to have a conversation about it. Rather than make him feel like a child that needs to do what he is told.
Step Four: Be the Rock.
I try to be the loving base of our relationship. If that means to make him a good home cooked meal or clean the house. I try to let him know how appreciated he is. I console him. Encourage him to reach for what he desires in life. I am the opinion that matters most to him. I try to keep any negative thoughts away and enforce positive ones.
Step Five: Be Myself/Confidence.
Here it’s a “you-do-you” zone. I take me time to reflect on myself and relax. If that means getting a pedicure, buying that cute shirt in the window, bumping my own music (which he finds repulsive) blogging, talking to a therapist, playing video games, primping, or playing with make-up. Doing things that make me happy or heal my soul is what I aim for. Working on yourself is key to keeping the confidence in you. Without that all they are seeing is a sad woman starving for attention and I’m over here like, “You know you want this!”
If you have the time please leave a comment of what you feel makes you a good wife! (or Husband!) We would love to hear your opinions! Thank you The Learning Mama for the opportunity to guest blog on your site!
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I personally would like to thank her for such an amazing blog post! -The Learning Mama