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The Learning Wife

How To Solve “A Shopping Addiction”

1. Let’s be honest, there really is no cure!

Many times, it may feel as if there are no cures out there. But one thing that you actually can do is improve and change habits. This also isn’t as easy as it sounds. I for one, have a problem sometimes deciding wether or not I really need something. It is fun to say I do though! Haha!

2. If you ask a “Professional”

When asking a professional about this, they may say your problem with shopping stems from your upbringing. Now this in fact can be true but sometimes shopping becomes a problem when people develop bad habits with their money. In reality, EVERYTHING stems from early childhood. You literally can’t get away from that, and there’s no reason you should. All of the events that took place in your life led you right here, right now, to this blog post. All of the beautiful memories made and even some bad ones, it all makes up the person you are today. Don’t change who you are, simply improve.

3. Understanding the Reality:

Now you may be reading this blog post to improve a situation or even to solve a problem desperately but the one thing you have to realize is that nothing will change overnight! If you want this to work, you need to change. You need to change your ways and improve everything you do down to the T! No it isn’t easy but guess what? It isn’t impossible either. There are no excuses!

I often will be on Pinterest looking for ways I can improve money spending or saving, then I’ll Pin stuff to my board after I’ve read or just save to read later. But a lot of times when I’m reading these posts, I am really just looking for “the answer”. But there isn’t just one answer that’s going to solve anything in life. Granted, that statement is arguable. But what you’re looking for, no there isn’t. Ive found that these posts are just super motivating! I hear all of these posts about how “I paid off $18,000 in 6 months” and I’m over here like “What the heck??? Where do I find that kind of money???” lol I am not saying the stories aren’t true, but if you’re like me, $18,000 doesn’t just float onto your lap! It’s just not reasonable to think it would. In reading those posts, I do get motivated and I do find small ways to improve in every article, and that’s why I read them. The same reason you should be reading now.

4. Realize that there is a problem and you’re here to fix it!

You already know that there is something going on, thats why you’re reading posts and articles. Now what do you want to do about it? Don’t dwell on the fact that there is a problem, just know it in the back of your mind and that’ll help you make better choices. I personally don’t like being told I have a problem so I don’t mean to say it in that sense. We all just want to improve our finances. If you ask any person on this earth, they will all say that they want to improve their finances. Regardless how rich they may be, people always have to improve. If they don’t, and just spend and do whatever they want, that money will soon run out.

5. Ask yourself this:

Do you really NEED it?  Is it more of a WANT then a NEED? Can you physically survive without it?

Its all about getting to the root of the purchase. In example, a laptop. For school, work, personal , and blogging, yes I do NEED it. It IS more of a NEED than a want. But yes I can physically survive without it. Now I just answered YES to 2 out of 3 of those questions. So, I’ve established I probably need it but now my mind needs to be set on when I should actually buy it. You need to now form a timeline and budget!

If you don’t have a YES result, don’t be disappointed, just write down what you want on your timeline and take care of the more important things first. Then you’ll be able to plan for what you want without feeling guilty or have buyers remorse because now you’ve taken care of the more important things on your timeline so you have extra room to save for it.

6. Timeline, Budget, and SAVE!

A timeline: Having a NEED list and a WANT list.

A budget: Checking local places and online stores to find the best possible price you can for what you want or need, then aiming to beat that price. If its a need that isn’t necessarily an item, decide on what you are able to spend in order to make this happen. In all cases, STICK TO THE BUDGET! I cannot stress this any more!

Save! Try to save a much money you can while doing anything! If that means waiting, then darn straight, you better wait! Another way to save is, lets say you have $100 dollars to spend, but you actually only spend $65, then go put the remainder from the $100 into your savings account!

7. Ways to take control of your finances!

Cash Envelope System: When you budget out the month and you set aside certain cash that can’t be touched accept FOR THOSE EXPENSES! Example: Groceries, Gas, Splurges, Eating out, Utilities/Rent, etc.

Budget: Always keep a budget! Start off by itemizing everything that you have to pay to sustain living. Ex. Rent, Groceries, Car Payment, Gas, Utilities, Medical, Etc. Then move on to things like bills and make sure you prioritize everything. Then lastly you’ll find stuff like Netflix, Hulu, Apple Music, Cable, Etc. These things aren’t bad to have but you need to realize and ask yourself if you can afford them. And if you got rid of them, how much extra money would you have and if you had that extra money, could it go to a bill to get paid off?

Coupons!!! 

I cannot stress how important it is to use coupons! In this day and age coupons are available from anywhere! Mobile Apps, E-mail, Texts, Websites, Mailers, Etc. There are so many, once you master the art of collecting coupons and you use them wisely, you’ll save so much money! I say wisely because if you, for example, find coupons for things you really weren’t planning to buy or don’t even need, then you just wasted money! You fell victim to coupon disaster hoarder! Don’t be a CDH!

Partner Communication:

Try to communicate together and come up with the best solutions possible for the situation at hand. There’s absolutely no need to argue or blame! You won’t get anywhere like that, just deeper problems. It’s probably best to sit down together (without children!) and just talk about your goals and wants and needs and just allow the ideas to flow freely. Then start to talk about ways you can achieve these goals and ways to improve your budget and spending.

 

To close…

There are many ways, some not listed here, to stop or minimize spending and start taking control of your paycheck. Some people can’t quit cold turkey but others might be more willing to take the more drastic measures. Trying to solve your shopping addictions is hard, but you can do it! Just start slow and keep this info on hand when you’re making a purchase. Weigh out the pros and cons, then do it again and again until you think its the best purchase.

 

Faithfully,

The Learning Mama

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A Good Wife! -Guest Post by Elisa Lucas

What does it mean to be a good wife?

From childhood I have been taught that a good wife wakes up at 3:00am to make breakfast and lunch for her husband before he leaves for work. To work a full day and take care of the children. To keep the house clean. Do the grocery shopping. To know how to cook. To make sure there is a hot meal ready for dinner and a cold drink in his hand. To not spend too much money. To make sure intimate needs are met. Rinse, lather and repeat. When I get home from work usually I just want to relax for a couple hours. Honestly, I don’t know how my grandmother did it. She would come home from a full day at work and stay on her feet till we were all sitting down at the dinner table. No wonder she wanted help peeling potatoes. My life doesn’t exactly fit in a nice puzzle like that but we have our own routine.

On the weekends I like making him breakfast. We often resort to coffee for breakfast during the week but surely if he asked during the week I would do it. When he isn’t traveling or busy we have lunch together. If I fail to plan our meals and grocery shop we eat out. I try to make it to the store once a week. I try to clean up during the week but I leave the hard core cleaning for the weekend. We don’t have any children yet. Surely my antics will have to change one day. I am great at making sure our bills are paid on time and saving money. That’s something I picked up from my grandfather. I am also excellent at communication and loyalty. I don’t expect a gold star for that one but it’s more than some can give. Here are a few of my values that I believe help me become a better wife.

Step One: Be Realistic.
It could be from, “Can I afford this?” to “Is he the right guy for me?” Sometimes it’s good to just evaluate something in black and white with honest answers. The key to this is never to rush into anything too soon without stopping and asking yourself if what you are doing is going to lead in a good direction. I know we love to follow our hearts but hey, we have brains for a reason!
Am I rushing into a relationship? Am I changing my moral values for this person? Does he accept me for me? Do I want to change him to be what I want? If you can answer questions like these in a realistic way then good for you! It’s about picking the right partner and not just being with them because it’s easy. Or for the strong sexual attraction. You are looking at the big picture and not just what’s right in front of you and convenient.

Step Two: Be Honest.
Silence isn’t always golden. No matter the situation. The truth is always the side that I want to be on. Even if that puts me in the ‘cat house.’ I would rather keep my conscience clear than to let anything eat at me. Whether it be about money, something I don’t approve of, or having made a misguided decision. What is a relationship without honesty and trust? Not much of a relationship at all.

Step Three: No Negative-Nagcy.
See what I did there? I know being negative and nagging will not get me anywhere. This is one thing I think we are all guilty of. When things are not going our way it’s really hard not to. I would love to nag him about taking out the trash but heck! I have to arms and I can do it to! Nagging never makes him do what I want any faster. Most of the time when he see’s me going for the trash he will hop up and help me. I chose my nag battles wisely and for the rest I just let drop. No need to rock the boat over the small stuff. If there is something I feel is a big deal, I try to have a conversation about it. Rather than make him feel like a child that needs to do what he is told.

Step Four: Be the Rock.
I try to be the loving base of our relationship. If that means to make him a good home cooked meal or clean the house. I try to let him know how appreciated he is. I console him. Encourage him to reach for what he desires in life. I am the opinion that matters most to him. I try to keep any negative thoughts away and enforce positive ones.

Step Five: Be Myself/Confidence.
Here it’s a “you-do-you” zone. I take me time to reflect on myself and relax. If that means getting a pedicure, buying that cute shirt in the window, bumping my own music (which he finds repulsive) blogging, talking to a therapist, playing video games, primping, or playing with make-up. Doing things that make me happy or heal my soul is what I aim for. Working on yourself is key to keeping the confidence in you. Without that all they are seeing is a sad woman starving for attention and I’m over here like, “You know you want this!”
If you have the time please leave a comment of what you feel makes you a good wife! (or Husband!) We would love to hear your opinions! Thank you The Learning Mama for the opportunity to guest blog on your site!

XO
Elisa Lucas

 

 

To read more posts from Elisa Lucas Click Here!

I personally would like to thank her for such an amazing blog post! -The Learning Mama

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